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Are you single and looking for love? Are you finding it hard to meet the right person?

Name: Nelli

How old am I: 57

When it comes to the length of your list, less is more, she says.

Dating tips for finding the right person

Ready to give it a try for yourself? And having a love list in your back pocket may just help you react more authentically and snag your perfect mate in the process. In your 20s you have to figure yourself out and you want to have a general baseline. After speaking to more than seeking romantic person, she identified the top three characteristics that people were looking for or what those who were married appreciated most about their partners.

Did it change?

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Want more tips like these? With this research under her belt, Murzello sat down right before her 30th birthday and crafted a new list.

The analogy makes sense. By Brianna Steinhilber. Did he personify the list and then I changed? An easy way to begin to tailor your list it to keep in mind the Potato Soup versus Lobster theory, Murzello says.

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Needless to say, I was disappointed. They had deal breakers. Take your time and be alone when writing your list.

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Follow better. Now is the time to analyze your list. Murzello walks us through her four-step process to putting pen to paper and writing your own love list.

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Since revising her love list, Murzello says dating has been more fun. Did I really need a list? Take out duplicates, couple themes together and delete unnecessary characteristics. Some questions to consider: What are your deal breakers?

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And since then, some of the married couples she interviewed have divorced. How did my list fail me?

Single and looking for love? while there are always obstacles to meeting the right person, these tips can help you find lasting love and build a healthy, worthwhile relationship.

Will you allow outside influences family, friends to dictate what is on your list? Why would you go for something bland like potato soup when you could potentially order a lobster?

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The common denominator Murzello identified between them? Looks do fade," she says.

1. the ‘you’ll find love when you’re not looking’ approach may be wrong.

I kind of went into a hibernation and I went back to grad school. For women those traits were: Sense of humorsmart and honest, and kind. As you get older priorities change, and it might be helpful to have a concrete seeking romantic person because you tend to forget the things that are important to you. NEXT: How often do the happiest couples have sex? These were the questions that ran through Murzellos head.

2. go where people like the same things you like.

As you evolve as a person, you will have a different list. With 55 characteristics her first time around she casted too wide of a net, which didn't allow her to be as decisive as she should of been. How do you value certain characteristics on your list?

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The book was written five years ago. Use your experiences, both bad and good, to your advantage, Murzello recommends.

About the author

What about the couples who stayed together? Which is hard to do.

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And there was a clear evolution between the characteristics that made the cut now, versus the ones that her year-old self had jotted down 10 years earlier. It's less than you think.

Desperation comes across as a of weakness.

It ended when he went to Vegas for a bachelor party and met a girl. Share this —. Really reflect on your needs versus your wants, says Murzello. Refer to your list often and revise it as you learn more about yourself and what you want in a potential partner.

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We all know what happens when you head to the grocery store without a list. Which puts the last line of her book into practice: "You cannot control what happens to you, good or bad; you can only control your own reactions. IE 11 is not supported.

How to use a 'love list' to find your ideal romantic partner

The next weekend he broke up with me; in three months they were engaged, in six months they were marriedand then they moved into the apartment that we lived in together. For an optimal experience visit our site on another browser.

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Be mentally prepared and have an open frame of mind.

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Just because the whole world seems to obsess about romance during one day in the middle of February, doesn't mean you have to.

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Often when people want a new relationship, they either look for someone to complete them or they imagine sharing their life with someone just like them.

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Love is a curious thing and most people are looking for it.

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Verified by Psychology Today.